Through You're Eyes: Chapter 15

For One so Small You Seem So Strong

"'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart.
From this day on
Now, and Forever more.

You'll be in my heart.
No matter what they say!
You'll be in my heart, always."

Weariness tugs at my eyelids and weighs my body down, but it's like my mind couldn't just focus on sleeping. Everything that's happened, everything that was going to happen surges through my mind, which in turn keeps me awake. I open my eyes yet again to see the blinking stars above, it was a rare occasion where the sky was clear of any clouds.

This is ironic because a storm is raging inside me, causing me to lie awake underneath the beautifully calm night skies. After Astrid left I decided to stay with Toothless, not yet ready to go back home…I am still mentally preparing myself for what I have to do, and I couldn't do it with my dad boasting about me and looking at me like I am finally the son he wanted.

A pain twists in my gut as I remember the pride that shimmered in his steel blue eyes, it's something that I'd longed for my entire life and yet I find myself not wanting to see it. I feel like I don't deserve it, after all I am lying to everyone in the village. I'd reluctantly showed Astrid, but that was only because I was backed into a corner and had no other choice. I mean she'd accepted it in the end…but would everyone else?

I roll on my side and look over at Toothless who is still slumbering, a soft purring sound emits from his throat, normally it sooths me to sleep but after what happened? What I'd seen, how could I? Biting the inside of my lip, I sit up and pull my knees to my chest. The soft rustling of the leaves reach my ears and the breeze caresses my skin, I watch the moon wave and shift in the movements of the lake.

'What kind of dragon was that anyway? Was it even a dragon?'

The image of the beast flashes through my mind and I shudder as I remember the fear that washed over me like water. Engulfing me completely, I've never been so afraid of something in my entire life. The only thing that broke me from the spell was Astrid clinging to my back and Toothless shaking below me; my only thought was that I had to get them to safety. I  close my eyes, and  release a breath I didn't know I was holding, and clutch my knees tighter. I know I have to tell my dad this, this is important information that could really turn the war in our favor.

This causes another problem now though, now I know that the dragons aren't really at fault here, they're being forced to do steal from us. They do it to survive! Maybe if I can convince my dad and show him that the dragons we have here aren't dangerous or evil…then maybe…just maybe we can come up with a plan to defeat that evil creature and free the dragons from its grasp. I know what I have to do to get his attention…but will it work and more importantly, will he understand?

'I really hope I know what I'm doing…there really is no turning back.'  

A soft laugh escapes my lips as I remember those exact words falling from Astrid's lips. It's ironic that from that moment on, my life really has changed forever, every step I took from the first time I freed Toothless to the point that I decided to help him, has taken me further down the road to the point I'm at now. The funny thin is I had made these decisions quick…like they were the obvious choices to make.

'Still, I can't help but wonder if they were the right choices.'

A grumbling from Toothless catches my attention and I tilt my head and suppress a laugh as the dragon had rolled onto his back with his front paws half way in the air and his back paws together on the ground. Sometimes I forget that he is the dangerous Night Fury that everyone fears; he's more like a house cat…or a dog even. Watching him flick his tail in his sleep I came to the conclusion that I don't regret the path I chose, I mean I feel like I was meant to do this.

Crazy as it sounds, I feel like the Gods guided me down this path for a reason. Why else would I be able to hit the elusive Night Fury? I mean it isn't because I'm a good aim, that's for sure. Placing my chin on me knees I turn my attention back to the lake, and I can't help but wonder why they'd chosen me for this.

'It's not like I'm an outcast enough already, they had to go and make me  even less of a Viking. I realize now that's it's not because I couldn't kill, it's because I wouldn't kill. When I held that knife to strike it just felt…wrong…like it wasn't me.'

I pull the dagger from my belt and gaze at it, the metal cool against my fingertips and heavy in my palm. I tilt it back and forth observing this instrument , catching the moonlight as I do so. I'd always wondered why I felt more comfortable holding tools, and fixing things rather then wielding weapons and killing things. I always thought it was because I was weak and afraid, but now I see it was because I'm not meant to.

Kill…that word has finality sound to it. Once you kill something, that's it you can't bring it back. Not like snapping a sword or ruining a shield those can all be fixed eventually, but life…once it's taken it can't be fixed or even replaced. Tilting the sharp end of the dagger toward the ground, I lazily sketch in the dirt between my feet. I find my mind wondering if dragons feel loss as we do. If one of their own is killed, do they mourn the loss?

They seem to feel emotion like we do; at least they do from what I've observed and cataloged, the dragons run through an array of emotions and feelings like we do. Anger, pain, contentment, joy and even fear! It's unreal how they went from monsters, to beings with feelings…with souls. Everyone thinks that they are without a soul, but when I looked into Toothless' eyes that day, I saw something I'd never seen in a dragon before; something I thought I'd never see.

I had been afraid of finding him, afraid if what he'd do to me if he wasn't wounded, I'd also been afraid to kill him, so I was stunned when I saw the fear in his eyes. I never knew that dragons could feel fear until that day. He was weak and helpless and he knew it. He knew that he was at my mercy. It's then that I realized I couldn't kill him, not like this. Not when he was pleading with me to spare him, it just didn't seem fair. I was afraid of him just as much as he was afraid of me. I guess that's why, in the end, I spared him, and in turn he spared me.

This showed me that there was more to him then just being a cold-blooded monster. He had thoughts, emotions and feelings like I did. Which threw me for a loop, I'd been taught that dragons were the type that you had to kill first or you'd be killed, what a misconception that was. I couldn't believe that all the years we'd been fighting them they were only defending themselves from us…that was all. We attacked them first, so of course, they retaliated to defend themselves. It all is starting to make sense now.  

A deeper frown tugs at my lips as I wonder how many dragon's we killed just for defending themselves? Granted, we were defending ourselves just the same, but how many had given my people that same pleading look and were just killed anyway? How could the others just look callously down on them and take their life regardless if they were helpless or not? Extinguishing the light that is their own life…I mean after all, it wasn't their fault.

The image of that beast on the island rose in my mind again and I shudder. They are afraid of her, and they are afraid of us, but out of the two they'd rather tangle with us. That's what I would've done, but how can I explain that to dad. He's not a very good listener…especially to me, he is more a man you have to show in order for him to start listening…so possibly showing him would be best.

Groaning I flop onto my back and shift my attention to the stars again. They still wink down at me from the slowly disappearing night sky, slowly fading in the light of the sun.   

'Odin, please have him understand…please. For all our sakes.'  

I decided that I'd better get back home before people start putting together that I'm not there, I stand up from my spot on the ground and start to walk toward the entrance to my sanctuary, I place my hand on the cool rock and look back at this place. For so many weeks, this place has become my haven, a place I could run to for solitude and comfort when things got out of control, a place I felt protected, but now there was no more running, and no more hiding. It was my turn to protect and help all the dragons, they are trapped and I am the only one with the information and knowledge to help them, and I'm not gonna let them down.

I jump as I feel a sudden warmth at my back, I blink to see Toothless standing behind me crooning softly. He peers at me questioningly with those big expressive eyes of his. I smile softly and caress his head.

"Sorry bud. I didn't mean to wake you, but I need to go now."

He nuzzles further into my chest and I wrap my arms around his head as much as I can.

"I'll be fine buddy, don't worry about me. There's just something I have to do first. If I don't do this then you'll be trapped here forever, and I can't live with that. You deserve to be free from this place, you and your kind. No more chains…no more cages. I promise."

He pulls his head away and gazes at me intently, he wants to go with me I can see it as well as sense it. I've been with him long enough to read his varying emotions. I shake my head as I stroke behind his ear, slowly moving down his cheek and under his jaw.

"Not this time pal, this is something I have to do on my own. I can't rely on you for everything. I trust you Toothless, now you need to trust me…okay?"

With that, I find that sensitive spot under his jaw and pinch it, causing him to groan and fall to the ground, unconscious. I crouch and pet his head. Sighing deeply, I really do wish I could take him, but this is something I have to do for him…alone.

Thinning my lips and steeling my resolve, I turn and walk out of the entrance toward my village. Heart pounding, and blood rushing through my veins I know that the task is going to be difficult, even still I know I am doing the right thing, I don't know how I know, I just feel like this is what I am meant to do. If I can stop this feuding finally, there won't have to be any more bloodshed…on either side. We've both suffered enough. It is time to end it, and I'm the one that needs to do it.

-Break-

"…no one is more surprised or more proud then I am."

There again, that sickening twist that seems to keep hollowing out my resolve repeatedly. I clutch the helmet to my chest and stare ahead. I hear them cheer loudly, and I want to bang my head repeatedly against the wall beside me. Like it wasn't hard enough already, now after that speech it's going to be even harder to do now…how will he take it? I bite my lip in worry.

"Be careful with that dragon."

Astrids' voice gently slid into my thoughts, pulling my attention to her beautiful blue eyes. They held a tenderness and worry that I'd never seen in them before. I would have been overjoyed had not the heaviness of the situation sobered me up.

"It's not the dragon I'm worried about…" I look at my father making his way to his seat, his head held high with a certain pride that seemed to shine through him. Happiness that now emitted from him…and it was crushing me.

"What are you gonna do?"

I could hear the worry now; it's etched in her voice. She doesn't want me to do this as much as I don't want to…but I have to…I just have to.

"Put an end to this…I have try." I bite my lip again, I try to quench the fear that rose in my heart but I know that there is always a chance that this could take a turn for the worst…there is always that risk. I turn to face her again. "Astrid, if something goes wrong…just make sure they don't find Toothless."

Strange how that is what I fear the most now. I don't care what happens to me, but if something happens to my best friend because I can't protect him, it's more then I can bear to think about. My eyes bore into hers, and she never breaks eye contact.

She gives me a slow nod and she reassures me with; "I will." Her words hold a serious tone, and I know that I can trust her. Her brows nit together and the concern is back again in her blue eyes. Her stance is nervously shifting, she's worried about me. Biting her lip, she gives me a fiercer look that's still laced with worry. "Just promise me it won't go wrong."

I open my mouth, but the words are lost as Gobber comes up behind me.

"Time teh go Hiccup. Knock 'em dead."

My heart jumps in my throat. I spare Astrid a fleeting glance hoping that'll give her enough strength to know I'll be fine. Taking in a deep breath, I slowly walk toward the center of the ring and place the helmet on my head.

This is it, all eyes are on me.

No pressure right? Just gotta prove that the dragons aren't our enemies…should be easy enough…right?

Right.

I walk over to where the weapons are at, I can feel myself slowly feel my resolve, once again, slipping through the soles of my boots as I grab the shield and dagger. Their chants of my name slowly fades as the locks on the Nightmare's cage slowly lift.

'This has to work…this just has to…'

In another quick motion, the world goes quiet as the doors burst open and the ring takes on a hellish light. The Nightmare comes out fangs bared, and growling at anything that moves. I swallow hard as it starts launching itself around the ring.

My eyes never leave it.. Even after it shoots out a magma blast at the crowd.

I am so quiet that I thought maybe it didn't know I was here, then, so agonizingly slow, those eyes turn to me. A predators growl escapes it's jagged mouth as it lowers itself to the floor. My heart pounds so wildly against my chest, but I stand my ground. More then fear though, I feel anticipation pushing my pulse to such speed. I stare right at the dragon as it slowly starts crawling toward me.

I slowly start to back away from the dragon, never breaking eye contact. At some point, I drop my shield and sword to the ground beside me and place my hands out in front of me in a none threatening manner.

"It's okay, it's okay."

The Nightmare growls at me lowly and continues its slow approach toward me, my eyes never leaving his. I maintained the contact to show him I wasn't afraid of him, but I mean him no harm at all. I want him to understand just as much as I want my father to understand. I've not gotten to the Nightmare, so I have to handle this with extreme caution. He could still turn on me at any moment, I can't risk that.

Not even knowing it until I was staring at my own reflection in the helmet, I stare into my own eyes for a moment and remember my dads' face when he gave this to me. I also saw Toothless' eyes in my own. Tightening my jaw I look back at the Nightmare. As hard as this was for me to do, I had to…no more hiding, no more trying to be something I'm not. I'm tired of it, so it's time to let everyone know what I've finally come to grip with.

"I'm not one of them."

I feel as if I've just thrown chains off my wrists. I feel a lightness in me that I haven't felt before, almost like who I felt when I was flying…a freedom of accepting who I really am, it felt good I had to admit. I can't revel in this feeling, however, I can hear all the collective gasps from the crowd, but my eyes are trained on the dragon. I reach my hand out once again and I see it's watching me more curiously now. Good, that means I'm reaching him, I just hope it's getting through to all of them.

"Stop the fight."

It was low like the first rumble of thunder before the storm; Anger twisted in stomach as he said this, my resolve moved my mouth before I could think.

"NO!" I almost fix a glare at him, as if to tell him don't you dare. "I need you all to see this!" I turn back to the Nightmare. It was sniffing my hand now, my heart was racing and the adrenaline was coursing through my veins. Strength was boiling up inside me that I didn't know I had was slowly making its way to the surface.

"They're not what we think they are."  I look into the eyes of the dragon with sympathy for him. They have to understand this…they just have to… "We don't have to kill them."
I could see him relax against his own judgment, and I could feel myself relaxing. This was it wasn't it?

"I SAID STOP THE FIGHT!"

Oh no.

A loud, reverberating bang on the bars snap the dragon out of it's short lived peace and the dragon was back on guard. Reacting quickly, I yank my hand back as it's jaws snapped on the air where my hand use to be.

'Dad, why?!'

I run with the dragon close on my heels. It's hot breath heating the cloth on my back. I hear it crash into the wall and I couldn't help the yell that escaped my lips. Fear took over my body and I was trying to find a place to hide, but there was nowhere.

Heart pounds in my ears and I faintly hear a call of my name. I dodge another fire blast, just barely making it without burns. I hear my name again, and another second later, I see a hammer slung and making contact with the Nigthmare's face which knocked it off course.

Astrid.

His attention turns to her gives me a moment to put some distance between it and me. I look back to see Astrid gracefully dodging the dragon. Staying just out of it's path.

"This way!"

I look over and see my father by the entrance. I race as fast as my feet will take me, seeing Astrid make it I was relieved that she wasn't in danger anymore. Then out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash and I immediately duck out of the way, as the fire hit the door panel. Fear clutched at my heart as I realized I'd just been cut off from the only way out. Shaking I was trying to just stay out of it's way now, hoping it eventually loses interest in me. My lungs burned and ached for air, but I can't stop to think about that. Then almost instantly, I realize that I can't feel my legs anymore. No oxygen in my lungs, meant it wasn't reaching my legs which meant good bye to mobility.

I tumble down, and immediately I roll over only to get pinned down by large talons. I'm left staring into it's yellow eyes filled with hatred. Grabbing the talons, I try desperately to move them, but to no avail. It was useless. I was caught, my heart pounding in my ears as fear widened my eyes. I can't breath, I can't think, I can't even move.

This really is it.

I close my eyes.

Waiting for the end.

Then I hear a faint whistling

It can't be.

Getting louder with each second.

"NIGHT FURY!"

"GET DOWN!"

A loud explosion.

Dust fills the ring.

The talons are yanked off me.

A sharp pain shoots up my shoulder as the tip of it's talon rakes over it. I roll over on my good shoulder and grasp at the shooting pain. Trying to tone it down.

A scuffling sound reaches my ears along with growling, hissing, and snapping of jaws. I look up and everything seemed to have stopped for the moment.  

He came.

I scramble to my feet and try to run to where he is, I still can't feel my legs so I fall again. A slight hiss escapes my lips as pain shot up from my shoulder when I put pressure on it, I almost collapse again. A flick of something out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. I look up and see his back to me, he's closer now and his ears are back with his fangs bared. Protecting me.

When did?

How did?

I was stunned, he actually came for me, how did he know? Shaking out of my revelry, I decide to save those questions for later. He's thrown himself into danger and he needs to leave now. So I  run over to him.

"It's okay Toothless, I'm fine. Go. GO!" I push him with all my strength, but with the adrenaline slowly tapering off and my injured shoulder it's impossible trying to get him to move, he stays there. Standing, not moving. Determined to stay by my side no matter what.  

Frustration fills me as I try to make him leave again. "Go, Toothless go, go!"

My eyes turn toward the entrance when I hear my dad yell. My heart drops into my boots as I  see him grab an axe and run over to Toothless full speed, his eyes full of hatred and anger.

No, no no! This can't be happening!

"No dad! He won't hurt you!"

I am suddenly pushing nothing as Toothless darts off from my side and my heart drops even further as he tackles my dad to the ground. They're both wrestling and my fear takes hold. Toothless could kill my father with on snap of his jaws, or one burst of fire. I grab my head and shut my eyes. I can't loose either of them, it wasn't fair!

"Stop, STOP!"

I can't believe what I'm seeing, two of the beings I care about most clawing each other, trying to kill the other. I'm not strong enough to pull either off the other! My fear escalates and pushes the last yell that catches their attention.

"NO!"

Panting I watch as Toothless halts his attack, and sucks it back into him. He turns and looks at me with his ears back, his eyes gentle and apologetic as they take in my haggard and torn form. I want to reach out to him, but my dad seized the opportunity and punched Toothless on the side of his head.

"NO! "

This was my nightmare come true, I watch in horror as more Vikings came in to assist my father. Pulling him off and shoving him non-to gently to the ground, I can't let them hurt him. My eyes never leave his as they widen in pain and confusion. Almost asking why.

"No, don't hurt him! He's not dangerous! Please don't hurt him!"

I try running toward him, but two slim but strong arms catch me and hold fast. I was too weak and tired to fight back, but I still tried to reach out to my best friend. I wanted more then anything to jump on his back and take him away from here, I wish he would have stayed in the cove where he was safe. His pained growl tore at my heart and tears formed in my eyes.

Why can't they see this? Why aren't they looking at him? Why can't they see he's in pain? Just look at him! See him the way I do! Please, just look at him! I can't hold myself up anymore. I collapse in her arms, she hold me in a tight embrace as I watch them glare angrily at him.  

"Please don't hurt him…please…just don't hurt him…"

My voice cracks, I hear it and it sounds weak, pleading but I don't care anymore! I just don't want him hurt. I start to tremble, and Astrid holds me tighter, her strength was the only thing keeping me from falling completely to the ground. I am so tired of it all, why can't the see him like I do? If the would just look at him through my eyes they'd see the friendly creature he could be…

"Put him with the others!"

My fathers voice puts a chill in my veins. There is something colder in it, cold and angry. It sends chills up my spine and I cringe when I feel Astrid stiffen when a shadow falls over me. I didn't look up, even still I know who it was. I can feel the anger and disappointment flowing from him like water from a vein. Without another word, I was yanked to my feet with a fierce, painful grip.

I swallow back a pained gasp as I looked up at him in pained surprise.

"We need to talk."

The solidity and cold tone in his voice sent more chills up my spine and I know that what just happened wasn't the worst or what my actions had caused…the worst is yet to come.